Contents 1 Characteristics 2 Children of narcissists 3 In literature 4 See also 5 References 6 Further reading 7 External links

Characteristics[edit] The term “narcissism,” as used in Sigmund Freud’s clinical study, noted behavioral observations such as self-aggrandizement, self-esteem, vulnerability, fear of losing the affection of people and of failure, reliance on defense mechanisms, perfectionism and interpersonal conflict.[6] Narcissism tends to play out inter-generationally, with narcissistic parents producing either narcissistic or codependent children in turn.[7] Whereas a self-confident parent, the good-enough parent, can allow a child its autonomous development, the narcissistic parent may instead use the child as a means to promote their own image.[8] The father concerned with self-enhancement, with being mirrored and admired by a son[9], may leave the latter feeling a puppet to his father's emotional/intellectual demands.[10] To maintain their self-esteem, and protect their vulnerable true selves, narcissists need to control others' behavior, particularly that of their children seen as extensions of themselves.[5] Thus narcissistic parents may speak of carrying the torch, maintaining the family image, or making mother or father proud and may reproach their children for exhibiting weakness, being too dramatic, or not meeting the standard of what is expected. As a result, children of narcissists learn to play their part and to perform their special skill, especially in public or for others; but typically do not have many memories of having felt loved or appreciated for being themselves, rather associating their experience of love and appreciation with conforming to the demands of the narcissistic parent.[11] Destructive narcissistic parents have a pattern of consistently being the focus of attention, exaggerating, seeking compliments and putting their children down.[12] Punishment in the form of blame, criticism or emotional blackmail, and attempts to induce guilt, may be used to ensure compliance with the parents' wishes and their need for narcissistic supply.[5]

Children of narcissists[edit] Children of a resistant, more stubborn temperamental parent defend against being supportive of others in the house. They observe how the selfish parents get their needs met by others. They learn how manipulation and using guilt gets the parent what he or she wants. They develop a false self and use aggression and intimidation to get their way.[13] Some of the most common issues in narcissistic parenting are due to the lack of appropriate, responsible nurturing which ultimately contributes to a child’s feeling of emptiness, insecurity in loving relationships, imaginary fears, mistrust of others, identity conflict and inability to develop a unique existence from that of the parent.[14] The sensitive, guilt-ridden children in the family learn to meet the parent’s needs for gratification and try to get love by accommodating the whims and wishes of the parent. The child’s normal feelings are ignored, denied and eventually repressed in attempts to gain the parent’s “love”. Guilt and shame keep the child locked into this developmental arrest. Their aggressive impulses and rage become split off and are not integrated with normal development. These children develop a false self as a defense mechanism and become codependent in relationships. The child's unconscious denial of their true self perpetuates a cycle of self-hatred, fearing any reminder of their authentic self.[13] Narcissistic parenting often leads to children being either victimized or bullying themselves, hypersexual in nature (media driven), having a poor or overly inflated body image, tendency to use and/or abuse drugs or alcohol, body modification such as piercings or tattoos, or acting out (in a potentially harmful manner) for attention.[15]

In literature[edit] Sons and Lovers is considered to have explored a narcissistic mother.[16] The Metamorphosis is considered to cover a narcissistic father.[16] Sylvia Plath's difficulties have been associated with a need to please a narcissistic father through public display.[17] The novel Loverboy by the author Victoria Redel is written from the perspective of a mother exhibiting characteristics of extreme narcissistic parenting.[18]

See also[edit] Child abuse Dysfunctional family Effects of domestic violence on children Enmeshment Family nexus Identified patient Jewish mother Parental bullying of children Parental narcissistic abuse Parenting styles

References[edit] ^ Stephen E. Levich, Clone Being (2004) p. 31 and p.89-91 ^ David Stafford & Liz Hodgkinson, Codependency (London 1995) p. 41 ^ (2015, Apr. 27 ). In Wikipedia. Retrieved Apr. 27, 2015, from ^ Banschick M.D., M. (2013, March 13). The Narcissistic Father. Retrieved April 29, 2015, from ^ a b c Rappoport, Alan, Ph. D.Co-Narcissism: How We Adapt to Narcissism. The Therapist, 2005. ^ Raskin, Robert, and Howard. Terry. (1988). A Principal-Components Analysis of the Narcissistic Personality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 54 (5), PP 890-902 ^ Simon Crompton, All about Me: Loving a Narcissist (London 2007) p. 119 ^ Salman Akhtar, Good Feeling (London 2009) p. 86 ^ Heinz Kohut, How Does Analysis Cure? (London 1984) p. 183 ^ Joseph Glenmullen, Prozac Backlash (New York 2000) p. 278 and p. 266 ^ Boyd, R. How Early Childhood Oedipal Narcissistic Development Affects Later Adult Intimacy and Relationships 2011 ^ Simon Crompton, All about Me: Loving a Narcissist (London 2007) p. 120 ^ a b Lynne Namka, Ed.D. Selfishness and narcissism in Family Relationships. ^ McBride, K. (2008). The Empty Mirror. Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers. p. 18. ^ Pinsky, Drew, S M. Young, and Jill Stern. The Mirror Effect: How Celebrity Narcissism Is Seducing America. New York: Harper, 2009 ^ a b R. Feinberg, Narcissus in Treatment (2013) p. 7-8 ^ S. Kavaler-Adler, The Klein-Winnicott Dialectic (2013) p. 211 ^ Redel, Victoria (2001). Loverboy : a novel (1st Harvest ed.). San Diego: Harcourt. ISBN 978-0-15-600724-5. 

Further reading[edit] Gardner, F 'To Enliven Her Was My Living':Thoughts On Compliance And Sacrifice As Consequences Of Malignant Identification With A Narcissistic Parent British Journal of Psychotherapy Volume 21 Issue 1, Pages 49 – 62 (2006) Brown, Nina W. Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-up's Guide to Getting over Narcissistic Parents (2008) Campbell, Lady Colin Daughter of Narcissus: A Family's Struggle to Survive Their Mother's Narcissistic Personality Disorder (2009) Donaldson-Pressman, S & Pressman, RM The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment (1997) Golomb, Elan Trapped in the Mirror Adult Children of Narcissists in their Struggle for Self (1995) Hotchkiss, Sandy & Masterson, James F. Why Is It Always About You? : The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism (2003) – see Chapter 9 – The Narcissistic Parent Little A No Contact - The Final Boundary: Surviving Parental Narcissistic Abuse (2016) McBride, Karyl Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers (2009) Miller A The Drama of the Gifted Child, How Narcissistic Parents Form and Deform the Emotional Lives of their Talented Children, Basic Books, Inc (1981) Payson, Eleanor The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family (2002) – see Chapter 5 Pinsky, Drew The Mirror Effect: How Celebrity Narcissism is Seducing America (2009) - see Chapter 8 Twenge, Jean M & Campbell, W. Keith The Narcissism Edidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement (2009) - see Chapter 5

External links[edit] Malkin C 8 Common Effects Of Narcissistic Parenting Huffington Post 27 Oct 2016 Hall JL The Narcissist Parent’s Psychological Warfare: Parentifying, Idealizing, and Scapegoating Huffington Post 09 May 2017 v t e Narcissism Types Collective Egomania Flying monkeys Healthy Malignant Megalomania Narcissistic personality disorder Spiritual Workplace Characteristics Betrayal Boasting Egocentrism Egotism Empathy (lack of) Envy Entitlement (exaggerated sense of) Fantasy Grandiosity Hubris Magical thinking Manipulative Narcissistic abuse Narcissistic elation Narcissistic rage and narcissistic injury Narcissistic mortification Narcissistic supply Narcissistic withdrawal Perfectionism Self-esteem Self-righteousness Shamelessness Superficial charm Superiority complex True self and false self Vanity Defences Denial Idealization and devaluation Distortion Projection Splitting Cultural phenomena Control freak Don Juanism Dorian Gray syndrome Metrosexual My way or the highway Selfie Related articles Codependency Counterdependency Dark triad Ego ideal Egomania (film) Empire-building God complex History of narcissism Messiah complex Micromanagement Narcissism of small differences Narcissistic leadership Narcissistic parent Narcissistic Personality Inventory Narcissus (mythology) On Narcissism (Freud essay) Sam Vaknin Self-love Self-serving bias Spoiled child The Culture of Narcissism (Lasch book) Workplace bullying v t e Parenting Types Adoptive Alloparenting Complex family Coparenting Foster care Kommune 1 Noncustodial Nuclear family Orphaned Shared Single parent Blended family Surrogacy In loco parentis Theories · Areas Attachment theory Applied behavior analysis Behaviorism Child development Cognitive development Developmental psychology Human development Love Maternal bond Nature versus nurture Parental investment Paternal bond Pediatrics Social psychology Styles Attachment parenting Concerted cultivation Gatekeeper parent Helicopter parent Nurturant parenting Slow parenting Soccer mom Strict father model Taking Children Seriously Work at home parent Techniques After-school activity Allowance Bedtime Child care Co-sleeping Homeschooling Latchkey kid Parent Management Training Play (date) Role model Spoiled child Television Toy (educational) Discipline Blanket training Corporal punishment in the home Curfew Grounding Tactical ignoring Time-out Abuse Child abandonment Child abuse Child labour Child neglect Cinderella effect Incest Narcissistic parent Parental abuse by children Parental alienation Legal and social aspects Child support Cost of raising a child Marriage Parental responsibility Deadbeat parent Paternity Disownment Experts T. Berry Brazelton Tanya Byron Bryan Caplan Rudolf Dreikurs David Elkind Jo Frost Haim Ginott Thomas Gordon Alan E. Kazdin Truby King Annette Lareau Penelope Leach Madeline Levine William Sears B. F. Skinner Benjamin Spock Baby and Child Care v t e Domestic violence Overview Outline Abusive power and control Epidemiology of domestic violence Cycle of abuse Conflict tactics scale Domestic violence and pregnancy Effects of domestic violence on children Intervention Intimate partner violence Domestic violence against men Women's shelter Domestic violence hotlines Forms Physical abuse Acid throwing Bride burning Domestic violence and pregnancy Dowry death Honor killing Murder of pregnant women Sati Psychological and verbal abuse Bullying Embarrassment/Humiliation Emotional blackmail False accusation Gaslighting Intimidation Isolation Mind games Nagging Narcissistic abuse Passive-aggressive behavior Silent treatment Setting up to fail Superficial charm Sexual abuse Marital rape Sexual violence by intimate partners Other Economic abuse Combination Abuse Battered woman syndrome Birth control sabotage Bride-buying Elder abuse Reproductive coercion Situational couple violence Stalking Traumatic bonding Child-related Intergenerational cycle of violence Narcissistic parent Parental abuse by children Parental bullying of children Sibling abuse By country Argentina Armenia Australia Bolivia Brazil Chile China Colombia Ecuador Ghana Guyana India Iran Kenya Lithuania Nigeria Norway Pakistan Panama Paraguay Peru Romania Russia Samoa Saudi Arabia South Africa South Korea Tajikistan Turkey Uganda United Kingdom United States Religion Christianity and domestic violence Islam and domestic violence Media Documentaries A Better Man The Conspiracy of Silence Defending Our Lives Power and Control: Domestic Violence in America Silent Voices Sin by Silence Other films American Tragedy Black and Blue Blinded Bordertown The Burning Bed Daughters Enough Looking for Angelina Once Were Warriors One Minute to Nine Provoked Sleeping with the Enemy Submission What's Love Got to Do with It Publications Contemporary Family Therapy Family Process Family Relations Journal of Family Issues Journal of Interpersonal Violence Signs: Journal of Women in Culture and Society Trauma, Violence, & Abuse Violence Against Women Other Battered woman defense Domestic violence court Domestic violence in same-sex relationships Lesbian relationships Misandry Misogyny Retrieved from "" Categories: FamilyNarcissismParentingDomestic violencePsychoanalysisHuman behavior

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